Hurt...Pain...

Have been thinking a lot about pain when these questions arose,

• What is it that causes pain or hurt to man?
• Who is it that can hurt anyone or anything?
• Why does a man have to be hurt?

Thinking a lot on all these questions i saw many reasons but came to one conclusion. Its man that hurts man. Other than the natural calamities given as a punishment to humans by God or the natural process i cant think of anything other aspect where pain is caused by someone else. I heard the anti-guns saying " Guns don't kill people, people kill people" the same way its just another human that causes the pain and agony to someone else. It need not necessarily intentional or intended but it hurts. Love hurts, i experienced it and it hurts a lot but again its not the love that hurts but its the very person or the other person involved that causes it. Pain is a feeling that can be because of physical effect or because of the emotional effect. I feel pain is the same feeling as being happy, they both cause anxiety, they both bring tears.

Does this mean you can smile when you are in pain?

I try to smile when i am in pain. I have always tried to make other people happy no matter if it makes me uncomfortable or sad. I noticed that sometimes that is what people hate about me. I hate it when someone causes me pain and it makes me mad. I realised that anytime when i am upset or hurt and think about what the other person has done to me, i tend to focus more on their mistakes or acts and forget to look into what i might have done to make them act that way. This necessarily doesnot mean that i do something everytime someone hurts me. I have had people hurt me when i least expected or when i did nothing to make them act like that. It hurts less when you are hurt by people that you do not know or do expect to hurt you as opposed to getting hurt by someone that you love so much and don't expect to get hurt by.

Why do people hurt each other?

People hurt each other out of some necessity that they have to satisfy. Not everyone can satisfy everyone. If you satisfy someone that on the other side means you dissatisfied someone else, its almost like "if you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else" There always is a choice to people. It depends on what choice an individual makes. Looking from an individuals perspective they would always want all the odds to be on their side and that all the choices be made such that they favor them but that's not always possible, especially when it involves more than one person in life. There is nothing a man can change in life ( this statement is very debatable may be in another post) Man can make efforts and work to change things and sometimes he is successful while other times not so lucky.

• Is there a way man can avoid this pain?
• Does isolating self help prevent man from getting hurt and more importantly hurting someone else?
• If hurt by someone should the man forgive the person and live his life?
• Will this be taken as his goodness or as his helplessness?
• Will the person that hurt him ever realise what they have done if they are forgiven and never made to realise what they did?

Will i ever find answers to all these questions? Let me wait and see if i will... I hope to find the right answer and make the right choice so i dont hurt anyone else neither hurt myself.

Feeling called Love...

Love has no boundary; love has no color, creed, cast, language or religion. This is true for many people but from what I have noticed love does not happen, people create it. I said this earlier when I wrote, Love is getting used to someone, getting used to thinking about someone, being with someone and wanting to be with that person. I heard this somewhere “You don’t have a choice to decide on a lot of things in life, you can’t decide where you want to be born, who you want your family to be, how you want to be; you can’t even choose who you love but you can choose how you love.” How can someone not understand that they are being loved by the actions, by the talks and by looking into someone’s eyes? Life always need not be practical, sometimes things take time. If someone cannot give time to the other person to understand them and get to know them they should not get involved.

There are different ways a person shows his/her love to the other person. These ways in which ones love is shown should not be misunderstood. If two people are in love and they understand each other they would never mistake the acts of the other person. Anyone would want to give the person they love everything they ever wanted buy everything they wanted no matter what the piece is and buy it yourself. This does not mean the person is trying to buy out the other person. Getting a gift or giving everything that one person has is out of love and should be understood that way not misunderstood to be either the weakness or wickedness of that person. Being there for the other person all the time every time even before they ask or share the need is not their weakness, it’s the love. You see what the other person wants or needs in their eyes and not wait for them to ask. Little things that make them happy, small acts that show that the person is cared for, these are all that show the love.

This is something I have recently started saying to myself, “If Life is all about love learn to receive and if life is all about pain then share it.” This only makes sense to me because when you actually love someone and give them everything in your power and do everything for them, they do not realize it or recognize it. Anything that’s within reach is always worth little than things that never exist and are not within reach. Never take the other person for granted. Remember the small things that the person has done to make you happy. Any time spent with that person is always worth it. These are the moments in life that can never be forgotten and when looked back bring a smile and make the person feel happy. They are capable of making you feel as miserable as they can make you happy.

Don’t expect the person to change for you; instead if the person is changing help the person to be themselves not abandon them because they were changing for the one they loved, if that’s not what the person wants they must work on it. People say life is short, you can get hit by a bus anytime so live every day like it’s the last day of your life but ever thought that life is long, you probably will not get hit by a bus and you are going to have to live with the choices you make for the rest of your life.

Love has everything; both the people must be attracted to each other emotionally, physically and logically. To me the feeling of love is “wanting to wake up next to her, kiss her on the forehead and wish her good morning every morning, have her on my side when i go to sleep every night knowing that she will be there for me when I wake up next morning & that i can be there for her all the time every time. Waking up to look at her smile when kissed on her forehead in the morning. “

Persistence wins love but both the people should make an effort to build and nourish it. One person cannot be expected to be persistent. Mean what you say, say what you expect or want and don’t leave anything to be guessed for, to the most possible extent.