Thinker's thoughts!Thoughts that strike my mind,

What is love? How does it happen?

2010-03-07T01:48:00.000-08:00

I don’t think I am capable, eligible or experienced enough to either explain what love is or how it happens but I will take a shot at it. Had I known the inner secrets of love things would have been so much different in life not just mine but a lot of other people that I know. So getting back to the never ending quest,

“What exactly is love?”

Well, love is defined in a number of different ways by different people most commonly heard as “Love is a feeling” but to me love is not just a feeling, it definitely begins as a feeling but is much more by the time a person realizes it. It need not necessarily be between a guy and a girl, the essence of love is the same whether it is between a parent and a child or siblings or even between a guy and a girl. There is no categorization in love. Either you love someone or you don’t but there definitely is an extent to which you love a person. Love is a feeling that makes people either do or not do things that they usually would do or not do if they were not in love. Maybe a little confusing but this is what I mean by it, Love changes people in such a way that not just others but the person him/her self will notice the changes in them. The person is love tries to blend into the likes and dislikes of the person they are in love with. This can be noticed in any case. I have noticed my parent’s life spinning around the likes and dislikes of us (me and my sister). I was shocked to find a totally different me and I kind of hated the fact that I changed as much but then I realized that it is not something that happens or one does on purpose. It’s not a bad thing to change for the people that you love but the cost of changing oneself for someone else is heavy.

Well, without drifting away from the actual topic, love is not something anyone can force be it between parents and kids or siblings or two people. Some people say that parents have to love their children, wife/husband has to love their spouse or siblings should always love each other. Nobody has to do anything in this world. It’s all a choice that every person makes and lives by it. Some make good choices while others make, let me call them, not so good choices. I have seen parents that hate their kids and vice versa, we all have read news where there has been hatred among the people that are supposed to be together and loving each other. These are some of the examples of why man need not do anything. Most of the rules set by the society are made by people like you and I. It is not necessary that everyone has to agree with the other person all the time. Love is an attitude that you have towards your fellow being, it does not have to be associated with a relation or a name all the time, even though the society disagrees with this.
Love begins as a feeling in a person which makes the person change (maybe for good or for bad), makes the person do a lot of things depending on to what extent his/her love is. It is also not necessary that if you love someone you have to get the same love in return – actually this seldom happens. We have all heard – Love without expecting anything in return – but we are after all human. We are weak and are incapable of lifting ourselves above a standard. Love without expecting anything in return would be unconditional love. We have all read about this in books but did we see anyone like this? Maybe some people do but for now all I can say is that it is above human standards to love everyone unconditionally.

Love happens, but how? Well, love happens sometimes because it is bound to happen like in the case of parents and kids or siblings, they know the other person and they have an idea that they have to like and love the person but this does not necessarily end up being love all the time. Depends on a various other conditions and just like this people fall in love for a lot of reasons. People love something or someone because they either find something that they are used to or something that touches them and this same feeling over a period of time grows into an inseparable bond between the two people or the person and the thing. It is also a feeling that is caused by getting used to the person or the thing. Feeling of love grows stronger by getting used to. There are different ways a person can show their love it can be by buying gifts or by hugs and kisses but the best way is to be available when you are needed the most. This is one way of showing your love that can never be beaten.

Every human is capable of loving. Everyone has experienced the feeling of love sometime or the other, be it towards another person, for a thing or another feeling. When someone says, “I hate that person with all my heart” they are saying that they love the feeling of hating that person. It might sound like magic of words but this is the fact. Someone once said, it’s all about choices and the decisions we make. When someone says “No” to something they are automatically saying “Yes” to something else. It’s a choice they made.

The bottom line is, Yes Love is a feeling and a lot more than just being a feeling. Every person is capable of loving, try to love everyone around you but also remember that we are all human so do not expect someone to love without any expectations. Love is beautiful, love is great but like all other things there are two sides to it. It can be the best while it can be the worst so maintaining the balance and gaining the composure to handle it the right way is a primary requirement.

No Pain, No Gain

2010-02-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

A saying aimed at a single person where both pain and gain are intended for that person but I noticed that today it more means like “Someone’s pain is another’s gain.” The thought process of man has become so shallow and driven by greed that no matter how one decision/action of theirs will impact the other person they are focused on their own gain. Today we look at countries making decision that impact the very existence of other countries not just the countries governments, organizations and companies. It’s a known fact that everyone has to put in their effort to gain from their actions but my thought is that they need not be adversely impactful to the other person. I am no saint and I have made decisions where I focused on myself but I consciously try avoiding making such decisions but I have proven to myself that I am human more than a couple of times.

I would be lying to myself if I said “I am selfless and I have never done anything to hurt someone” because I know I am greedy (to an extent that is controllable and not harmful for others). Thinking ethically and morally no one can ever cause pain to others but then how can this be justified. In today’s competitive world where a person is looked up to by their position or the status how can it even be justified. Brother competes with brothers and they have ego and attitude problems because they do not look at each other as brothers but because they look at each other as competitors. This needs to be changed and people should be reminded of the very meaning of humanity. A person has to be self centric to move ahead in life and keep up with today’s world and in being successful now, they make certain decisions which seem to be unethical or immoral but can they be held accountable for it? Maybe, all humanity should stop for a moment and think where the world is heading and what is going on. Is this how the world is supposed to be or can we all make this better. To make this happen though, humanity should stop looking at the world the way it is today and have a positive and constructive attitude towards each other.

Competition can still be a part of the healthy world where we compete with others ethically and morally where no employee is exploited by any organization or no one can bribe the an officer to escape from law. All the countries are united and do not fight for the borders. A world that is filled with love and has no place for hatred is the kind of world I am looking forward to myself, the children of the future and everyone. Hope this comes true sometime in the future.

Why did God let this happen to me?

2010-02-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

I have asked the same question to myself, my family and friends a long time back. This is a very general question that almost everyone would ask at any point of time be it for health, relationships, career or something else. Well, after a lot of years and a lot of thinking, listening to speakers and experiencing I understood the answer. The answer is, it is not God that let this happen to you, it is oneself that is responsible to everything.

God always wants His children to be safe and happy, no harm should come to them but no one is resistant to diseases, accidents or breakups. Why does this happen? The answer I found is that God also believes in free-will. God never stops anyone from doing anything; He is willing and waiting to help His children. He never lets the extreme happen to them He only lets them experience as much as they can. Although we do not know what our level of perseverance, it is very well known to Him. Now how does God’s free-will work?

The very obvious questions are, If God loved Adam & Eve then why did He let them commit the sin? Did God not know that Satan will be tempting Adam & Eve? The answer is God, the creator knows everything but the free-will offered to humans by God prevents Him from intervening in our lives and making us do what is good for us. We humans have the choice to pick and follow either good or bad. That is a right given to us by God and will not be taken away by Him. He shows us what is good & what is bad, we humans make the choice on what to do. Whether we pick good or bad He is always waiting and watching over us to let us realize and call upon Him. As soon as we call upon Him and confess we are in peace. God doesn’t want anyone to perish; there is no difference whether it’s a priest or a sinner.

Looking at the Bible, God could have prevented Eve from getting tempted and eating the fruit but did not. This doesn’t make God wrong, He did inform them earlier that the fruit is sinful and it should not be eaten. God could have prevented His beloved king David from committing a sin but it was up to King David to follow the path that the God has shown him.

Father Abraham followed everything that God has shown to him and asked him to but he still had to wait for 90 years to have kids. Why did this happen? Certain things happen to glorify God while others happen as a result of the choice we make. Even though Eve committed sin followed by Adam, King David committed sin, they were all forgiven. God was with them all along and is with them even now.

Stop looking at your situation & wondering “Why God did this to you?” Rather start analyzing and work in your life so you don’t repeat the mistake that was committed in the past and also make sure you make the right decision not just for you but everyone. Do not get disappointed in yourself or God, God alone will not do anything there has to be human effort to invoke God’s favor as well. So do not be disheartened, try and make the best decision you can not solely based on self but from the knowledge gained from the Holy book , the Bible as well as from the experience of elders. God doesn’t take sides neither does He punish or penalize any of His children. Be positive and try and do the right thing. Leave the rest to Him.

This doesn't mean that the person has to be guilty and is in a situation where God despises him/her. God is always watching out for His children and is preparing the person for the best in life because to appreciate the best it is important to know what worse feels like. So look forward to the future and live in present. Bad decisions and the mistakes of past should be forgotten and future should be taken with a very positive attitude and leave the rest to God because He sure is going to clear every mess His children get into and also prepare them to be better human being.

Persona-'s?

2009-10-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Been a while since i have blogged but i was focusing on myself to understand where I am and what I am becoming. I found a lot of things changed in me but something that i have noticed a lot over the few weeks is how many persona's i have been adopting to. I have known myself forever :) of course forever and I still know how stable I am. I am strong, confident and very adamant (for good or bad) when i want something i go after it with all that i have got. I mostly achieve it as long its a thing but when it comes to people its hard to justify the statement that "I want the person and so i will go after him/her"

Ever heard the saying, "If you love something, let go of it and if it belongs to you, it will come back to you"? I heard it quiet often, even though the statement is pretty straight forward its not the easiest thing to do. From my point of view, simplest things are the most difficult to do in real life. Now that i let go of someone i am sharing mixed feelings on one hand i want the person to be with me so i can be happy while on the other hand i want the person to be happy which could mean the person might not be with me. I feel love for her and then i get angry at her, some people say its normal.

If i really love her, should i try to make her understand that i love her and that i would do anything to keep her happy or just let her be happy and move on with my life? How will i know if she is happy? or should i just be concerned about my happiness? People say, things happen and life goes on. How can you invest so much energy, time and self into something and then just let go of it but on the other hand if you dont let go of it, it will still let go of you and you end up being at the same place where you were. Always make an attempt but where does this attempt end?

Coming back to the persona's topic, like i mentioned i have mixed feelings about the person whenever i think about her in different situations. How do i control my emotions and come to a point where i can say, alright i let go of you? I do not have any emotions neither love nor anger against you. I would like to get there and am working on it everyday. I made my priorities in life, work, work and work as long as i am here but before that my priority is my God and my family. I am excelling at work, i keep getting awards and commendations for my work which is great. I will keep achieving things and excelling just that at this point of time i do not know who i am doing all this for. Irrespective of my previous statement this is all good for me. I confess that i love her and i want her to be happy. I can get a little greedy and say i want to be happy too which is what i am working towards,

I want to achieve one persona, a persona of love, care, life and smile. I am making the effort on achieving this and i will achieve it.

Happiness

2009-08-28T11:28:00.001-07:00

All my blog entries from now on will be to see what can make me happy and what is it that i can do to spread that happiness.

Live, Love and Laugh... still have your values and live by them.

Even though i want to and i know i find it hard right now to love everyone around me, including the ones that really insulted me or abused me, i will do it. Most important thing would be doing it with satisfaction.

I will do IT.

Night sky with stars..

2009-08-13T02:52:00.000-07:00

I heard about the meteor shower from a colleague and decided to go watch it. After a long time... a very long time, i drove in the night to the foot hills and parked there waiting to see the meteors. One thing that i really miss in USA from India is lying down on the terrace and just staring into the sky looking at all the stars twinkling. Thats what i got to do yesterday night, even though there was no terrace i did climb up onto my car and lay down there for quiet a while. Night sky is just so amazing with stars. Its so calm and soothing, lets you think a lot clearer.

TBC

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2009-08-01T01:34:00.000-07:00

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Spotlight Award for the Quarter...

2009-07-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

I was awarded the "Spotlight Award" today in my company. It feels really good getting recognized for the efforts put in. This is really encouraging. Of course this was a complete team effort and i could not have achieved this alone. As usual i was missing in action when i was supposed to be taking the applaud and appreciation. It felt good to see the confidence my managers have in me. Thank God for this.

Effort - Inversely proportional to the expected result...

2009-07-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

I noticed that the more effort you put into something the more you get away from the desired result. I am right now trying to keep myself occupied and get over certain things from my past and certain people, the more i try the more effort that i put into it more difficult it is getting for me. I wish i had one of those flash guns from MIB (Men in Black) where they flash it and you forget everything that happened before that point of time. It would help me so much in my life right now. I cant ask for anything more if i could get that but that's not a practical thing to expect because i don't have anything like that right now.

I put in lot of effort into being with someone and the result turned out to be exactly the opposite of what i desired and now i am putting in so much effort to being away from or to forget someone and the result is turning out to be exactly the opposite again. There is not a single day or maybe a single hour when i don't speak to myself about that person. I am trying really hard to finding that one way of not remembering anything about that person which will relieve me and also that person from my mind.

Since i did figure out that the effort we put into something is inversely proportional to the expected result, should i just not put any effort into forgetting the person and i will forget? Will have to think and try. Lets see.

Passion - Old times and New time...

2009-07-12T14:38:00.000-07:00

Earth has evolved so much over the past hundreds of years so did the world and man. Life style, technology, culture etc have all changed over the time. Time also changed one more thing i.e... the meaning of words and the way different approaches are looked at. In olden days when Romeo and Juliet died for each other it became an epic and people still talk about their love story even today but if someone does the same today people would call them crazy :) Interesting shift of trends. Passion is a word that has great weight, its a very powerful word to use and is equally powerful when put into practice. Passion in old times was actually used in a good sense but today passion has taken a different meaning. In today's world, passion is termed as possessiveness or being control freaks. If you love someone fervently and passionately that you would do anything for them, others look at it as craziness and possessiveness. If you work really passionately and try to make everything perfect and immaculate, colleagues and co-workers think you are a control freak. I have certain values set for myself and i value my word and hope the same from others. If i say something i do it or atleast give in 100% to achieve it. More than the world changing its the way of thinking of man that has changed. I am still living in the old era where if i love someone i will love with full passion and if i pursue on doing something it has to be with passion. I have had people say that i am crazy and most people think i am because i am passionate about everything i say or want to have or do. There are things that don't really bother me and i do work towards achieving them but wouldn't feel bad if i cant. Its all about priority.

Money was never a priority for me and is not going to be but if i love someone they will always be my priority. Conclusion is i am passionate about my love and my life, everyone involved with me knows this and if my passion means craziness in today's world for others, it really doesn't matter to me. To me passion is still in the good sense and i will live that way.

Fear kills, Love/Respect builds...

2009-07-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

There is a saying in hindi, "Jo darr gaya woh marr gaya" translating this into English, it means "anyone that is scared is dead." Interesting saying and i have been thinking about the way i am in many aspects. I do a lot of things that my elders or my superiors ask me to do. End of the day i start thinking and i also notice some of the others not doing this. So i think, why am i doing everything or most of the thing that they are asking me to do? I realized i do things not because i am scared of anyone but because i respect them or i love them.

Existence!

2009-07-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

Existence in this world is a very funny fact. You are an individual living your life but there are so many others that constitute your life. There are many times in your life where you would want to make a decision and do something that would make you happy but cannot because of the other people involved in it. I sometimes think how it would be if i was all alone in this world, with no one to speak to, no one to think about and if i could just shut off my brain and myself from interacting with anyone. But then i think my parents and sister who have done so much for me if at all they thought the same i wouldn't be where i am today. Funny how priorities change in life, friends change but its just the family that is with you all the time. Its been a year since i have met my family they want me to go back and meet them which is what i want to do too but not the way i am right now. I will have to fight out a few things before i get to them.

Can i live my life all alone, without anyone around me? Don't want to speak to anyone or be with anyone. I have noticed myself that in the recent past i am getting more and more rude. This is not something i want to be and it is taking a lot for me to fight this. I want to love people not hate them. Even though i don't hate them today i am becoming very indifferent to them. I wish i get over this soon. i have noticed there are two ways of existence

Introvert
Extrovert

Introvert is how i have been all along and that's how i see myself being going further.

Choice?

2009-07-11T12:00:00.000-07:00

Everything in life is a choice. Person living the life makes it, even though sometimes you feel like there is no other choice but that one thing, you still have a choice. When you say "Yes" to something, you are saying "No" to something else and vice versa. Think through the things properly before making a decision. Try and make the right choice.

To Speak or to be Quiet?

2009-07-07T22:49:00.001-07:00

I believe in speaking to the other person if there is something that is bothering me. I have been thinking for the last few days if this is the right approach of course this might not be right all the time and i do this most of the times not all the times. So, the thought i had going on for a while is if i should speak to the other person if there is something i am worried about or concerned about concerning them or should i just be quiet and let things go under the rugs? The person that got me thinking this is the one that always used to say don't speak if there is anything, let the things just fade away. I don't think that things fade away just like that. If something is left unspoken or unaddressed it is going to build things on it. Frustrations will build and there will be a point where everything blows up. If things are addressed and taken care of from the beginning there will be no buildup and things will not turn ugly. I also tell everyone if i see something that i think should be done in consideration of others. People misunderstand me when i talk about certain things. When with others i think it is only fair to be considerate to everyone. There will be certain times when people cannot be as considerate to others but that understandable.

I still believe that things should be spoken about and cleared as far as possible. This habit of mine has bitten me really hard in the past but i think this is the way to do it not all the time but mostly. There would be times when things have to be dealt with in silence and i would. I love you... i know this is out of context but i just felt like saying this to the person i want to and i did. :)

How am I different?

2009-06-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

I always wanted and tried to be different from everyone else that i have ever seen, met or know. There are times when i would do something against everyone else just because i wanted to be different but as i grew up i started realizing that its not the acts that actually make me different neither is it the looks. Its the thought process, the way i think, my approach towards different aspects is what makes me different. This is not an easy thing to achieve and i have this going on in my head all the time. I need to be different but rather than thinking so much i should just be myself which will make me unique and different. When looking into something ( i will call it an issue), looking at it with a plan helps this.

How can i do this?
What needs to be done in this and how differently can i do it?
What else can i do to add value to the solution?

TBC

Bygones are bygones...

2009-06-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

Ever said this to someone or heard this form someone? I heard this a lot and i say this a lot to others too. Now that i am sitting here looking back there are so many things that i am unable to let go. I wish i could but am not able to, somethings that i love that hurt me. Looks like i liked the pain too. Why is it that i am finding it so hard to let go of something. Something that i did not start off to pursue but got so involved that i cant let go of it now. This is not supposed to happen, i should be able to decide and do what i should hold on to and what i should let go but how will i do it? A smile on the face can be deceiving, its hurting to the point where my smile is disappearing.

Why men love Bitches?

2009-06-22T01:00:00.001-07:00

This is a book written by Sherry Argov. I was introduced to this book by one of my friends ( someone closer to me than a friend). I never realised what she was trying to say to me. I did read through this book to try and understand that. I have not read any other work of Sherry Argov and so i can only comment on what few i have read in this book of hers. I am also not making these reviews or comments as a man. These are very neutral and unbiased thoughts i have.

I think a book like this focusses to show women that nice women have no chance of survival in this world or that they can never be happy with their life, rather the men in their life. I dont think this is right. Not every woman has to be a "bitch" (as mentioned in the book) to lead a happy life and to have her man with her happily. In a relationship both man and woman have to compromise and there would be sometime in the relationship where the one person might walk all over the other person. This doesnt mean one person should become cold and cruel and start manipulating the other person. If this attempt is made then to me the relationship starts becoming more of a tug-of-war than being a relationship.

There should be no "I" in a relationship, it should be "We" but being humans sometimes we get carried away. Finding our way back and making things better for each other is what will lead to their happiness. Do not let someone that came into your life that never loved you rule your life and how you treat other people in your life. This is wrong. Even though i am saying this i find it really hard to follow it. I am trying my best though. I still know that there are a few people from my past ( even though i want them to be in my present that is not working out and its ok as long as they are happy) that actually make me think about a lot of things in my present. They from their interaction with me have influence on the way i do certain things or the way i behave sometimes not good and so i will change it. As long as this influence is good and makes life better for everyone it is good but otherwise this needs to change.

"Dont be available 100% to a person is one of the steps listed in the book", thats not right. In a relationship i would give my 100% to the other person. I have always and i will continue to do that. It hurts sometimes when the other person doesnot respond the same way but love is supposed to be unconditional. I would leave everything right in the middle of it and go to meet the person if i love and care for that person as much. This does not show my weakness, it only shows my love for the person. I have done this in the past and i will do this in future. The worst pain would be when you know that they are being influenced by books like this which is causing the heartache in a relationship or a budding relationship. "Do not cook a full course of meal is another thing mentioned in the book. Rule of thumb - If it is warm, he will eat it, the rest is wasted effort" this is another quote from the book, who says that it is wasted effort? This is so misleading. It is not, every second you spend for someone you love is worth it. Its so worth all the effort, its all the love you have for the other person.

Attraction Principle # 1: Anything a person chases in life runs away.
Is this is an attraction principle? Principles like this written in books are what mislead people. No, anything a person chases in life need not run away. A person has to know and make the choice somewhere. If that is what is good for the person and thats what the person deserves they will definitely find/get it and have it for the rest of their life. This statement is actually twisted, it means to me that, if you chase something in life with fear of losing it or with doubt about it or even to gain an upper hand you will lose it. Be your own self and give it all you can to get it, you will get it.

There is a lot i can write on this book but i would like to conclude this saying, "this book is for women that want to seduce men, not for women that want a long lasting relationship with someone."

Lastly, books are a very powerful means of reaching out to people, please do not abuse this power by writing and publishing content that would mislead people and spoil relationships. I only hope whoever is reading this book or using it as some kind of guide realize that this is not how relationships work. A relationship is not just about giving, neither is it just about taking but its about give and take. This give and take cannot be bargained on. Both parties have to compromise and understand. Its all about sharing.

Love is supposed to be unconditional, it might be really hard to love someone unconditionally but not impossible. Try to do that and not fight to gain an upper hand over the other person. Love, like any other feeling will definitely hurt sometimes but to me its all worth. I am writing this to show my feelings, this is completely just for me and nothing to do with anyone else.

This is not to offend anyone but are just my own thoughts.

Men and Sex

2009-06-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

This is one of the first taboo topics I would be writing about. I still remember the dialogue from one of the Hin-glish movie (Bollywood movie made in Hollywood, a mix of Hindi and English). The dialogue goes thus “we Indians do not speak about sex” which is funny. I guess the times are changing. I do not know what others think about me writing on this topic, doesn’t really matter what others think. Even though I do not intend on or like to compare between men and women, just to show the facts I have learnt about I have written about both women and men. Any numbers are from the sources quoted other information is from my personal observation and experience.

When speaking about men one of the first things I heard people say is men always think about sex not true, I do not agree with this I definitely agree that the sex drive of men is much higher than women but that doesn’t mean they always think about it. Also I noticed that men are more expressive physically, they show their love and affection by holding the other person, patting then, rubbing their back, hugging or kissing. These need not necessarily mean sexual gestures. Women tend to misunderstand these sometimes which cause problems. I have heard women say that they tend to address any man they know as brother so men do not get any other ideas about their relationship or expectations, that’s wrong. Men have higher sexual drive does not mean they look at every woman like that. Heard a lot that men usually are up for casual sex, I completely disagree with that. Men are not, I am saying this not only from my personal experience but from what I have seen. Women get into a relationship much more on the basis of emotions but men get more serious in a relationship after they get physical (there are always exceptions but this is usually how I have noticed it work) and by physical I do not mean it to be sex, it can be the first touch, a kiss or a hug even.

"Men are very rigid and specific about who they become aroused by, who they want to have sex with, who they fall in love with," says J. Michael Bailey, a Northwestern University sex researcher and co-author with Chivers on the study.1 Women can detach very easily from anything and everything around them atleast the few that I have come across. Men find doing the same much harder. You see women moving on with their life much easier than men. There is a small percent of men that make all the men look bad. Women tend to compare everything and everyone with something they already had in their life or that someone else they know of have in their lives. Certain bad experiences with others do not mean every man is the same and that they will all do the same. Men compare too but not to the extent women do.

Coming back to the topic, I read some facts on this. They are as follows:

54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43% a few times a week or a few times a month and 4% less than once a month – Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male) 2
Among men the sex drive remains the same and does not change based on how long they have been in a relationship but a woman’s sex drive begins to drop the instant she gets into a secure relationship. This is quoted “Women’s sex drive is initially high to facilitate pair bonding. Desire for tenderness showed the opposite trend. Ninety percent of women craved tenderness but men in relationships for ten years only 25% hoped for the same from their partners. “
Sexual arousal in men is straight forward and predictable but in women it is supposed to be really complicated. (Scented candles, romantic music etc)
Again quoted “Among men who are part of a couple, 75% report that they always have an orgasm, as opposed to 26% of the women. And not only is there a difference in reality, there's one in perception, too. While the men's female partners reported their rate of orgasm accurately, the women's male partners reported that they believed their female partners had orgasms 45% of the time.”1

1. http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare?page=3
2. http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200706/five-shocking-stats-about-men-and-sex

Flashback

2009-06-18T23:49:00.001-07:00

From where i stand right now, when i look back i dont even realise where most of the time has vanished. Its been seven years since i have come to the US. I still remember the day when i stepped in US. Twenty years old, first time away from home. Its been a completely different experience for me ever since. I have learnt many things in the world. When i tell anyone the way i was brought up in India, most people have asked me if i was a spoilt kid or some assumed that i was a spoilt kid. My parents have literally provided me with anything i wanted even before i asked and thats how i want to love them back and love anyone in my life. This sometimes might not look right to the other person especially if they dont understand how and why this is done. Its the love that makes you do things for someone.
I miss being with my family, being with people that love me for what i am with all my flaws and inabilities. Seven years in US and i still remember the first day i stepped in US as yesterday. I almost remember everyday i have lived here sometimes, it looks like its been forever and sometimes it looks like it was just a day or a few hours. I wish i have someone that loves me and cares for me so i can sit with them, speak to them about everything going on in my life. I guess writing is the best even though blogging might not be the best idea. So my personal things would go into my journal and my not so personal thoughts will go into the blog.

Anyways this blog is on what i think not something for others.

Dating

2009-06-14T19:37:00.002-07:00

Heard this conversation in a movie and i liked it. Made a lot of sense, i guess...

What is Dating?

It’s a long drawn out process of elimination, where you both try to present your best side while hiding the real you which lasts only three months because eventually it leaks out and then you spend another three months getting to know the real you and then one of you wants commitment while the other wants it to fail; and you have to start all over again.

Being Myself - 2

2009-06-14T19:37:00.001-07:00

One of my friends that read my blog entry on "Being Myself" asked me a question, the question was "is it wiser to be with someone who u don't love that much?" My answer to this was "No, but when someone really loves you, they will never force you be something else that you are not and will be with you in getting over the fear of losing that person." The conversation then continued, my friend said you are talking about mutual love but then usually its one person who loves the other more and therefore the fear, which is true. That usually is the destructive love ( like my friend mentioned) but how can someone be self and equally love the other person for what they are? I do not say this is impossible but i have seen very few couples that are like that. I know a few of my friends that are such and they really encourage me with the way they are. God bless them and May they always be happy.

Final Destination - Reality?

2009-06-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

The first thing that stuck me and that my friends mentioned after i read this news was, this sounds like final destination. The new is http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/us_world/NATL-Woman-Who-Missed-Flight-447-Killed-in-Car-Crash.html?yhp=1

Escaping death only to die again. May the souls of flight 447 victims and the two people that died in the car crash, Rest in Peace.

Being Myself

2009-06-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

What do i mean by "Being Myself"?

Being myself is being anywhere with anyone and still being what i am, the way i talk, the way i act and the way i am. I have noticed that when you are emotionally attached to someone or something its extremely hard to be yourself, i have seen this happen to me. When you let emotions take over, you can never be yourself. When you are around someone that you love, respect, fear or hate a lot you can never be self.

When i was around the person that i loved a lot, i was never the same. This was partly because i loved the person a lot and partly because i was afraid i will lose the person. In managing the fear and love you generally tend to lose the person you love being with. The best way to love someone and be with someone is to be yourself, the other person should be in such a way that they let you be yourself and dont force you to be what they want you to be. That' is the perfect match and unconditional love that you can get from someone.

Be yourself no matter who you are with and what you want to be for them. This would be the first step to establishing a true and lasting relationship with anyone. I know its easier said than done, i have seen the tremendous change emotions can bring about in a person. Learning to control the emotions and not letting them take over yourself is the key here.

Past... Present... Future

2009-06-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

How should the life be looked at? Is it about the past, present or the future?

I have heard a lot of people say life is about today! live in the present but i don't think so. Life includes past, present and future. Can anyone be born adult without being a child or skip their old age when they are bound to? The same way you can never forget or remove the past from your life, good or bad it is part of your life and you have to live with it. Its different when you learn to live with it but its a choice that a person makes. Some decide to live in the past some in present but i think life should be to live in present with what you have learnt in the past while looking at the future. I have said this in another post earlier but you hear people say " Life is short, you never know you might get hit by a bus, so live everyday like its your last day" but when you think about "Life is not short, you might not get hit by a bus today and you have to live with what you do today for the rest of your life" This makes a lot of sense to me. I do not wish to live everyday as my last day neither do i want to live my life in my past. Things that happened have happened, they should impact my life in a positive way not in a negative way. I shouldnot let what happened to me yesterday ruin my today or tomorrow neither should i be arrogant about my today because i dont think i have a tomorrow.

People that love/loved and hurt me, did what they had to some for a reason and some without any reason. I get angry at those things and that people but i would only be punishing myself if i hang on to them. It feels so good saying that i want to let go of everything from my past that holds me prisoner but i find it equally hard that things like that happened to me. I was punished for being nice and for loving but i am only listening to this from my end what does the other person have to say about this? Dont know, never got a chance to know this. Eben though i get really really angry at this person sometimes when i look back and think, i am getting mad at myself. Ok, i guess the topic is getting diverted now.

Bottom line i think is that life should be lived as a full package rather than breaking it into parts or choosing to live only some parts of it, pain and pleasure are both part of life, one should not chose to live with only one.

Sixth Sense... Dreams

2009-06-10T18:12:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows about the five senses Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste and Touch but apart from these everyone must have heard of the sixth sense if not watched it at least, the movie ;) So what exactly is sixth sense? Is it something super-natural? Sixth sense to me is a combination of all five senses and focus and mental stability to understand and interpret the outcome of all the senses. It is no supernatural and it is not gifted to only a few chosen people. Everyone has the sixth sense, it depends on how they utilize it or sharpen their sense over the time. I have trained myself to be aware of my surroundings. I like playing "connecting the dots" every time i see something. I register things the first time and then the next time i look at it i try to see if anything changed. Guess i was training myself for my profession ;) i still have the same attitude and try and do the same. Over a period of time as you train self these senses sharpen and every aspect that is noticed can be tied to something that might happen. This is what i feel sixth sense is. If i can say when the pizza delivery guy is going to knock on the door its not because i see a vision but because i can hear someone climbing the stairs and its been approximately the same time when the pizza guy is supposed to be delivering the pizza.

Dreams on the other hand are similar to this but they have a little more mystery surrounding them, i guess i can only explain a bit about the dreams. Most of the dreams are based on the circumstances and the life around but there is a part to it where you can actually visualize things that might happen in the future. This part of it is unexplained and i don't know how to explain it either. I am a live example of someone that can dream about incidents and things that might be happening or might happen in future. I dreamt things about myself, my family and friends. I used to do dream interpretation for members on a social group but when it got really exhaustive i kind of gave up on that. I still do interpret for a few of my friends and most of the time i got a positive response from them. Dream interpretation is a very tiring thing to be doing. It drains the person mentally maybe because you put so much thought into it. I started a different blog on dreams and interpretation. http://scorpio-dreams.blogspot.com/ will start blogging on this as i can think and fill in information.

Now lastly, most of the times when you think or feel about something, somehow out of the blue you find yourself interacting about it. This could be as small as someone mentioning about the same or running into that person you were thinking about. This happens a lot to me but not all the time. I guess mostly i get lucky. There are things i wished for and got them almost instantly and times when i really really wanted something or someone but lost them completely, this is part of life :) Even though the thought that i lost them makes me sad i am learning to get over them and live my life. The topic is kind of drifting to my usual subject from the unusual topic i am writing about ;) This is the third thing i can think of, someone speaking something and it coming true.

The orange shirt!

2009-06-10T00:30:00.000-07:00

On a lighter note in my blog, i liked an orange shirt when i went shopping last weekend for a friend and decided to get the orange one for myself. Initially i was a little hesitant on getting the orange shirt. I however figured that if i liked it i should get it and wear it, no matter what others feel or think about the color and i did get it. So i wore the shirt to my work today and sure enough i did get everyone's attention :) One colleague of mine said, someone's wearing an orange shirt while another said i could not help but notice you, were you wearing something different earlier? He obviously remembered seeing me yesterday in a different shirt but this was triggered by my today's shirt. This actually reminded me that i do know what i want and i should attempt for it irrespective of anyone or anything else. If i can get it and if i do get it well and good, if not tough luck, try for something else. Looks like i am learning to take things light now. I like the shirt and i now think i should get more bright colored shirts just for the heck of it ;)

Head Vs Heart

2009-06-09T01:32:00.000-07:00

I noticed this after I wrote the title how Head and Heart have a difference in 2 letters and even reality when your mind is mostly precise and short it’s the heart that makes things difficult and painful. Both head and heart know about an issue but how does one know whether to listen to the head or the heart? My head thinks and says while my heart feels and says… this is a crossroad that I come to sometimes in my life and it’s not pleasant when I am there. Even though my head can prove to me beyond doubt sometimes the heart just forces me into believing something totally opposite, why does this happen? Does this mean my heart is always wrong and is biased? Not really, it’s just that the feelings overtake the reality. This does not happen too often but in one particular incident in my life I have noticed that coming into terms with the heart is really tough. I know I was cheated and I know I was played, my head says realize and react but my heart says that’s not true. You were not cheated or played, things just happened. Now I can take both arguments but I cannot be in peace with either my head or the heart. I keep getting pulled on either side, my head says you got to understand the issue and get out of it while my heart says how can you abandon halfway? There are something’s that are to be dealt with both head and heart while some that are to be dealt purely with only either head or heart but not both. How do we know which issue needs what? Human nature by default is to pick something that is unavailable, dangerous or something that leads in the wrong path. I have noticed that women compared to men are more practical and deal with most of the things with their head while men on the other hand are emotional and deal with their heart. I am not saying that all things are to be dealt with a pre-conceived notion of categorizing issues to be dealt with head or heart but there definitely is no way of knowing something for sure unless you jump into it. Risk has to be taken to look at the end result of any decision. I have taken this risk and the hurt I received in return is great though I am striving hard I am getting to a point where I want to use my head and not let my heart say anything in any matter. Heart makes a person weak, people of strongest character lose everything and give in to their hearts which gives an opportunity to others to play with them. Never try to hold on to anything too tight, nothing is permanent and the more you try the certain you can be that you will lose it. I wish it’s not that way but that’s the fact. Heart causes a lot of pain. Ultimately head over heart is what looks like the best way to me.

Hurt...Pain...

2009-05-31T12:34:00.000-07:00

Have been thinking a lot about pain when these questions arose,

What is it that causes pain or hurt to man?
Who is it that can hurt anyone or anything?
Why does a man have to be hurt?

Thinking a lot on all these questions i saw many reasons but came to one conclusion. Its man that hurts man. Other than the natural calamities given as a punishment to humans by God or the natural process i cant think of anything other aspect where pain is caused by someone else. I heard the anti-guns saying " Guns don't kill people, people kill people" the same way its just another human that causes the pain and agony to someone else. It need not necessarily intentional or intended but it hurts. Love hurts, i experienced it and it hurts a lot but again its not the love that hurts but its the very person or the other person involved that causes it. Pain is a feeling that can be because of physical effect or because of the emotional effect. I feel pain is the same feeling as being happy, they both cause anxiety, they both bring tears.

Does this mean you can smile when you are in pain?

I try to smile when i am in pain. I have always tried to make other people happy no matter if it makes me uncomfortable or sad. I noticed that sometimes that is what people hate about me. I hate it when someone causes me pain and it makes me mad. I realised that anytime when i am upset or hurt and think about what the other person has done to me, i tend to focus more on their mistakes or acts and forget to look into what i might have done to make them act that way. This necessarily doesnot mean that i do something everytime someone hurts me. I have had people hurt me when i least expected or when i did nothing to make them act like that. It hurts less when you are hurt by people that you do not know or do expect to hurt you as opposed to getting hurt by someone that you love so much and don't expect to get hurt by.

Why do people hurt each other?

People hurt each other out of some necessity that they have to satisfy. Not everyone can satisfy everyone. If you satisfy someone that on the other side means you dissatisfied someone else, its almost like "if you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else" There always is a choice to people. It depends on what choice an individual makes. Looking from an individuals perspective they would always want all the odds to be on their side and that all the choices be made such that they favor them but that's not always possible, especially when it involves more than one person in life. There is nothing a man can change in life ( this statement is very debatable may be in another post) Man can make efforts and work to change things and sometimes he is successful while other times not so lucky.

Is there a way man can avoid this pain?
Does isolating self help prevent man from getting hurt and more importantly hurting someone else?
If hurt by someone should the man forgive the person and live his life?
Will this be taken as his goodness or as his helplessness?
Will the person that hurt him ever realise what they have done if they are forgiven and never made to realise what they did?

Will i ever find answers to all these questions? Let me wait and see if i will... I hope to find the right answer and make the right choice so i dont hurt anyone else neither hurt myself.

Feeling called Love...

2009-05-30T05:45:00.000-07:00

Love has no boundary; love has no color, creed, cast, language or religion. This is true for many people but from what I have noticed love does not happen, people create it. I said this earlier when I wrote, Love is getting used to someone, getting used to thinking about someone, being with someone and wanting to be with that person. I heard this somewhere “You don’t have a choice to decide on a lot of things in life, you can’t decide where you want to be born, who you want your family to be, how you want to be; you can’t even choose who you love but you can choose how you love.” How can someone not understand that they are being loved by the actions, by the talks and by looking into someone’s eyes? Life always need not be practical, sometimes things take time. If someone cannot give time to the other person to understand them and get to know them they should not get involved.

There are different ways a person shows his/her love to the other person. These ways in which ones love is shown should not be misunderstood. If two people are in love and they understand each other they would never mistake the acts of the other person. Anyone would want to give the person they love everything they ever wanted buy everything they wanted no matter what the piece is and buy it yourself. This does not mean the person is trying to buy out the other person. Getting a gift or giving everything that one person has is out of love and should be understood that way not misunderstood to be either the weakness or wickedness of that person. Being there for the other person all the time every time even before they ask or share the need is not their weakness, it’s the love. You see what the other person wants or needs in their eyes and not wait for them to ask. Little things that make them happy, small acts that show that the person is cared for, these are all that show the love.

This is something I have recently started saying to myself, “If Life is all about love learn to receive and if life is all about pain then share it.” This only makes sense to me because when you actually love someone and give them everything in your power and do everything for them, they do not realize it or recognize it. Anything that’s within reach is always worth little than things that never exist and are not within reach. Never take the other person for granted. Remember the small things that the person has done to make you happy. Any time spent with that person is always worth it. These are the moments in life that can never be forgotten and when looked back bring a smile and make the person feel happy. They are capable of making you feel as miserable as they can make you happy.

Don’t expect the person to change for you; instead if the person is changing help the person to be themselves not abandon them because they were changing for the one they loved, if that’s not what the person wants they must work on it. People say life is short, you can get hit by a bus anytime so live every day like it’s the last day of your life but ever thought that life is long, you probably will not get hit by a bus and you are going to have to live with the choices you make for the rest of your life.

Love has everything; both the people must be attracted to each other emotionally, physically and logically. To me the feeling of love is “wanting to wake up next to her, kiss her on the forehead and wish her good morning every morning, have her on my side when i go to sleep every night knowing that she will be there for me when I wake up next morning & that i can be there for her all the time every time. Waking up to look at her smile when kissed on her forehead in the morning. “

Persistence wins love but both the people should make an effort to build and nourish it. One person cannot be expected to be persistent. Mean what you say, say what you expect or want and don’t leave anything to be guessed for, to the most possible extent.

Mirror

2009-03-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

Everyone wants to be good, wants to be different. In this process they make sure they are different from the people around them, they analyze others and try not to repeat their mistakes but things go wrong somewhere and sometimes. “Actions speak louder than words,” this is so true. All a person living in an illusion needs is a mirror and this comes in the form of another person. Sometime of the life there will be a person that will show him what he actually is and what he has done not necessarily all through the life but could be a phase. There can be no excuses to what was done, it’s not about what the person thinks (good or bad) or feels but it’s about what the person does. Never listen to your heart, its emotional; think with your mind and act.

The point of time where your reflection is shown to you is scary, a point where that person might wish he was never born or lived long enough to do something like that. The person tends to get into denial and does not want to accept what he has done. He can fight all he wants, can deny all he wants but fact remains fact. He can play blame game, point fingers at others but when analyzed within heart he would know what he has done. This reaction is but an act of denial having exposed to the truth. The person should rather accept what he has done and think about what needs to be done next. Certain things by the time you realize are too late, there would be nothing he can do to fix or correct. Living with the guilt of what he has done is the price he has to pay for what was done. In this whole thing the other people that get involved are innocent and don’t need any of this in their life but having caused this will be the worst that he can carry on his shoulders. Why don’t people realize what they are doing before it is too late?

Falling from the sight of others, one can still survive but what happens when one falls from own sight???

Gran Torino

2009-02-01T01:09:00.000-08:00

I just got back watching Gran Torino, a movie acted and directed by Clint Eastwood. I saw the trailers of this movie when I went to watch another movie and found it very interesting. I did not know who Clint Eastwood was before this movie (my knowledge on the Hollywood actors is really poor) but now I do and I think he is a damn good actor and director. For some reason I felt the movie was kind of slow at times but that could just be me. The subject was very interesting though not unique or completely new it was made really well. Each character in the movie played their role with dedication and concentration. This is a movie I would definitely suggest everyone to watch. Clint Eastwood carried his character and the whole movie all through it. A very thought provoking and inspiring movie. The end of this movie was different, something I did not guess. Don’t think this is a real story but I can think of a lot of people that have done what “Walter Kowalsky” (Clint Eastwood) has done. The script was good and the direction was very good. Clint Eastwood was a perfect fit to the character. Go watch the movie and think after you do watch it. Good Job Clint Eastwood, I will now get other movies he has made and watch them.

How do things touch us?

2009-01-28T23:09:00.000-08:00

Ehsaan itna sa kar de
Mujhe phir tanha sa kar de
Tere bina jee na sakunga
Milke ye tujh se keh na sakunga
Ehsaan itna sa kar de
Mujhe phir tanha sa kar de

Tera mera ye naata kyun toota
Tera mera ye pyaar kyun rootha
Aadhi baatein adhoori raatein
Reh gayi tere bina
Tera mera ye naata kyun toota
Tera mera ye pyaar kyun rootha
Aadhi baatein adhoori raatein
Reh gayi tere bina

Tanhaiyaan seh na sakunga
Tere bina jee na sakunga
Ehsaan itna sa kar de
Mujhe phir tanha sa kar de
Ho ho ho..
Ho ho ho..

Tu nahi raha teri yaad reh gayi
Palko mein teri aas reh gayi
Koi to hoga bahana bata
Tujhko bhula dene ka
Tu nahi raha teri yaad reh gayi
Palko mein meri teri aas reh gayi
Koi to hoga bahana bata
Tujhko bhula dene ka

Tanhaiyaan seh na sakunga
Tere bina jee na sakunga
Ehsaan itna sa kar de
Mujhe phir tanha sa kar de
Ehsaan itna sa kar de
Ehsaan tanha sa kar de

Lyricist : Sachin Gupta
Movie: Dil Kabaddi

This is a song that I have been hearing to continuously for the last few days. It has a lot of meaning to it. How does someone write these lyrics, these are someone’s feelings that are put in writing. There are so many things that touch us when we are just listening or watching for the first time. What is it that attracts us or makes us to feel so strongly about them?

Return to Writing...

2009-01-27T22:35:00.000-08:00

My last blog entry was on the 3rd of September. I kind of stopped writing anything from then on. Cant say got too busy but i guess i just got caught up with life. Somethings are unexplainable they can neither be kept for self nor can they be revealed to others. It hurts not telling someone and it hurts if they are told to someone. I am right now sitting in my apartment typing this blog and staring out through the window at the dark sky thinking about a lot of things. How did I end up here? Is this good or bad? I always said whatever happens happens for a reason and it usually is for good. I now sit here wondering about what has happened and how it happened. Is this good or bad? If good, am I happy with it? If bad, why did this ever have to happen?

Time is flying, its already been a month into the new year. Everything seems so unstable, the market is so fragile right now everyone is worried about their jobs. Life has become so routine once again but i guess this is how life has to be.

I am going to be working towards my goals this year and lets see how far i can achieve them.

May this year bring happiness and peace to everyone.
I know i am a month late but "Wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous New Year." :)

Always be the reason of someone's happiness never just a part of it.Be a part of someone's sadness never the reason for it

2008-09-03T11:55:00.001-07:00

One of the best quotes i have come across...

Please, Listen to Me!!!!!!!

2008-08-26T23:40:00.001-07:00

When I was driving back home tonight, I felt like my heart was screaming out at the top of its voice saying, “Please, listen to me just for once” but unfortunately it was my heart screaming, it can’t be heard by others. It felt like my heart was going to tear open my chest and come out, it felt so suffocating as if it was buried in there forever. No, I do not want to talk when someone asks me to talk; I want to talk when I feel like talking, when I need to talk to someone. I try talking to someone, I wait till they finish and I suddenly realize they are done talking and they are gone.

Things that I want to say, things I feel like expressing are left behind with me. I have this smile on my face all the time, when I felt like my heart was bursting out; it would have asked me “who are you cheating with your smile, People around you or your own self?” I do not have an answer to this. I try talking and I say something or the other that hurts the person, things are taken personal and I again end up not being able to speak. To some I can’t speak because I hurt those in the past and to some I can’t because I am scared I will hurt in present. I feel like standing on the roof of the 16 storied building next to my office and yelling out at the top of my voice and I still don’t think anyone would hear me. I can’t blame others for this because it’s not a one off incident, it happens with everyone. Every time I talk to someone I am worried that I might say something that will hurt them.

Talking to my parents and sister am worried I will hurt them; talking to a few of my best friends I am scared I might hurt them. Will I ever speak my heart out? I feel like I am living someone else’s life. I am trying to run away from myself and to find out if it is me that is alive or if it’s just my thoughts that are alive in someone else. It’s so suffocating to be like this. Please stop saying I am strong, I am good, I am smart; no I am none…I am overly sensitive, strong outside but even more weak inside. I am breaking down. I dread the day I crack. I can just pray that it never happens. When I try and call someone, ask them (some people that are really close to me) to say something about what’s going on with me and I get a question back, “What do you want me to say?” I really wish I could communicate normally to just one person that is willing to listen to me and my heart, a person that I am not worried of hurting because that person understands me enough not to take anything personal or apply anything to self.

When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am!!!

2008-08-25T02:41:00.001-07:00

Dusron ke nazron se gir ke jiya jaye par khud ke nazar se gir ke jeena???

2008-08-23T16:02:00.001-07:00

Surviving by falling in someone else's sight is possible but how can one one live by falling in their own sight?

Goodness is not Helplessness and vice versa

2008-08-21T23:03:00.002-07:00

Life is all about "Moments"

2008-08-21T23:03:00.001-07:00

Ever thought how long you have lived? I have lived 27 years but when I look back I can only see or remember a few moments of my life. It’s a fact for most of the people I would say (I do not want to speak for everyone here but I assume this). We live for so many years not knowing how much longer we have left; always worrying about what happened yesterday, what is happening today and what might happen tomorrow. Is life all about worries? I look around and see people laughing, smiling and cheering each other. Is it just me that’s kind of lost in this or is everyone just pretending to be happy? I have so many times felt like I was completely invisible, I do not belong to this world. I wished I would disappear or go hide someplace where no one can ever find me. Not possible, how can anyone ever know how it pains to be lost in the crowds, looking for someone you know or someone that loves and cares for you?
It takes ages to build anything but just a moment to break or destroy something, this one moment defines the next steps in one’s life. Positive or negative, they have such impact on one’s life that it will be visible to everyone, some people choose to ignore the impact they have on others life while some people do not really care about others.
You meet someone, talk to them, get used to them, spend time with them and start liking them. You make many plans on what to do and how to do but there would be one unplanned moment ( this can never be planned, not by human’s at least), totally unexpected that would bring all the plans to a screeching halt. The whole world would be turned upside down and everything, absolutely everything changes in matter of a moment. People that took so long to get close to each other cannot be together anymore, suddenly they realize there is nothing common between them. They that used to talk to each other for hours, spend hours together will have no topics to make a conversation. There will be the awkward silence all around and always.
Why does this happen? Does this mean they never had any kind of relation between them? Does this mean everything they had between them was just so weak that it could not hold up against one moment of misunderstanding? Why cannot life be simple or is it that life is simple and we complicate it?
As mentioned above we think we have lived for many years but carefully looking back will reveal only a few moments you have really lived and those moments stay alive with you all through your life, forever. Those moments would be crystal clear even years after the day it happened. Good or bad, easy or hard, like or dislike, Love or hatred whatever the moment has one has to live with it. Some are cherished, some are regretted. Ever thought, if that one moment is/was dealt with a little more care and respect, life would have been so different. We let our past and future rule our present like “I did that in past so I should not do this; I want to be this so I should do this today.” Is this all life is about? We see so many other beings living around us. Do they feel the same emotions? Do they feel love and compassion?
When there is nothing one can do, one has to let go of it. Does this help? It never helped me. I was and am never able to let go of things but do I have a choice? Not that I know of. There is nothing else that can be done about this. People only learn and appreciate the value of things when they lose them, but those that realize the value before are the ones that are happy. Do not change who you are for someone else. Like the person as they are, for what they are, not for what they will be or for being what you want them to be. Love always hurts (all forms of love, not just love between a girl and a boy but love in any relationship). If you do not know where to stop, it actually suffocates the other person which is very true in my case.
“Too much of sugar is poison, similarly too much love is prison “
Too much of love suffocates the other person, not the person that is showing it but the person receiving it. Out of such love arise expectations, possessiveness and jealousy. Ultimately this hurts everyone involved in that relationship.
Life is a very complicated puzzle, everything seems right from one perspective and everything seems wrong from another. Who decides what is right and what is wrong?

-* Will be continued *-

Whats your first thought on this?

2008-07-24T18:14:00.000-07:00

2008-07-06T14:55:00.001-07:00

Some of the things i heard that made me think...these are not my own and the credit goes to the owners

"Life waits for none; even the one living it...keep up with it or you are totally lost, forever" - My own thought

"You are too concerned with what was and what will be
There is a saying
'yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
but today is a gift that is why it is called present' " - Kung Fu Panda

"Perfectly imperfect, you know when you start loving someone's flaws" - Good Luck Chuck
"Bureaucratic absence of presence" - Basic
"All you can do is to let go of her" - Good Luck Chuck
"Being a leader is not about ability, its about responsibility" - The Core (might be wrong)
"Life is simple, You make choices and don't look back" - Fast & Furious 3 - Tokyo Drift
"Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want" - 10 Things I Hate about You

Happy Birthday Mamma!!!

2008-06-28T20:10:00.000-07:00

Hello Mamma,

Wish you a very very Happy Birthday Mamma. I wish i was there with you today to celebrate your birthday...but all is good. I did celebrate your birthday here with my friends. Got a cake, cut it, went and bought a gift for myself (an expensive gift :) ) Mamma, thank you so much for being with me all the time all through my life so far...I really miss you Mamma...i miss Pappa and Akka. I wish you were all here...but again its all good, I am glad you are all together atleast. Life goes on the way it is supposed to go. I dont know what i would have done in life if you three were not with me... I thank God so much for giving you all to me...I really really wish you all were here. I pray that you all come here as soon as possible. May you have many more birthdays like this and celebrate them with all of us.

Love you soooo much Mamma!!!
Love you Pappa and Akka!!!

Expectation and Comparison, known evils within!!!

2008-06-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

These are some of the basic things I have learnt to be happy. Expectation and Comparison; should be out of mind, life and practice to be happy.

Equations:

Expectation creates Hope which when broken causes disappointment, this leads to depression and issues

Expectation = Hope when broken causes disappointment => depression & issues

Comparison leads to Jealousy which leads to anger and hatred.

Comparison = Jealousy => anger & hatred

Can someone be happy with depression, anger or hatred?

This is not possible. So, one should start practicing in their life not to expect from or compare with others. This is not as easy as said, I still did not master this art but I do realize every time I compare or expect from someone what I am heading into which gives me a little control over my emotions and reactions. This is something that is seen a lot in Indian culture. Most parents tend to compare their children with their neighbors kids, teachers compare their students with one another. They feel this will help the kids in improving them while this can adversely effect and make the kids against each other. There will be jealousy and anger in them. When they grow up with this anger and jealous it is neither going to help them nor the society. Childhood of kids should not be destroyed as a result of these known evils, kids must be brought up with love, care and positive attitude. I am very lucky in this aspect, my family has always been there for me, understanding each and everything. I was mostly never compared as far as I can think of and I was brought up with all that are mentioned above. I am not a genius but I did achieve a little in life. I am proud of what i have done so far and am working on what i have planned. I heard my family say they are proud of me and it is mutual. Thats mostly what matters.

Personally, I used to take things too serious, get more attached and start expecting from others but I realized that in this process I was not only making myself unhappy but was also bothering the other person. I was even told that I expect too much. After all this I started to practice what I mentioned above. Comparison with another person; be it a colleague, friend or family member leads to jealousy. Man is greedy by nature and when comparison with others starts it hits the peak. I used to compare a lot with others in education, career, salary, cars and property but this never helped me grow but only succeeded in damaging my self-confidence. That is when I decided I should concentrate on developing myself and be happy on the growth of others but never to compare. I practice it today and it helps me to be happy and to have a better relationship with the other person.

Ultimately it’s the relationship that matters; do not lose on it by not being able to overcome these evils that exist in every man. The Bible says,"Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others." (Galatians 6:4 )

Have a happy time.

Dreams

2008-06-21T10:09:00.000-07:00

Everyone dreams…either while asleep or when awake.

So, what is a dream?

Dictionary meaning of a dream is “series of thoughts, images or emotions occuring during sleep.” From what I heard the sub concious mind of human’s becomes active when a person is asleep and is resting.

Do dreams come true?

Yes, I believe they do. Not all of them but most of them…Its from my own experience that I am saying it not by reading some books or watchin movies. Almost everyone in my family ( we are four) have had these experiences.

Can dreams be interpreted to make sense to any man?

When we dream they will seem to be very silly and irrelevant but any sign in a dream is not irrelavant. Dreams can be interpreted to make more sense and relate with a day to day life. Its not a science but it can be learnt by experience and spending enough time. This is a very tideous act and will drain anyone as it needs a lot of concentration and thinking. I have interpreted my friends dreams and I was told that the signs they have seen and the way they were interpreted matched with their daily life and the activities going on. Does this mean I am special??? J Maybe, I would love to be special. There is also a community in orkut where I try and interpret anyones dreams as I find time. I used to be really active on it but lately I am not finding enough time to spend there.

I have seen my dreams come true, every moment of it. Dreams are also fascinating…I once had an experience where I was dreaming but my mind knew I was dreaming and I was thinking and acting in my dream according to my will. I have had more experiences like this but nothing like the first time. There have been days when I was very hurt and did not want to dream anymore. You dream and you know that something is going to happen but there is no way of stopping it. I could not sleep for a few days fearing I might dream something but I finally understood that there is nothing much we can do to stop anything that the Almighty has written. I just pray every time I dream of something that bothers me or that causes concern to me. Don’t let the fear stop you from dreaming.

Keep dreaming and have a great sleep :)

Image courtesy: http://hypnodreams.org/images/lady-dreams.jpg

Spreading Contagious & Infectious Smile.

2007-12-23T13:25:00.001-08:00

Life is too short to worry about anything. Man can predict almost anything and everything that exists but the next moment of his life. Being happy and smiling always is a way to be healthy and satisfied.

Smile is infectious and contagious. One of the easiest things a man can do, is to spread the smile. Try to make one person smile and be happy you will notice how much more happier you feel on doing it. Then i started thinking how can i spread the smile? Will i have to distribute flowers and chocolates to make people smile? The answer is no, just a warm smile acknowledging the other person is more than enough to start this infection.

Like in Munna Bhai, the other person might not respond immediately, he will think you are just crazy but slowly he will give in. This infection effects some people very quickly and some people gradually but it will endup infecting everyone.

I read in an article previously that a child smiles averaging about 800 times a day where as an adult smiles averaging around 20 times a day. This number needss to be changed to reduce the global problems ;)

Man Vs Machine - Education and Awareness is the best tool to fight a machine

2007-09-10T09:19:00.001-07:00

Human brain is amazing. The mass of an adult human brain is about 1,300 to 1,400 g* It works all through the life of a human being, 365 days a year, 24 hours a day non stop, amazing. Imagine doing something like that even for a week. I don't think i would last more than even a day with so much to do and so little rest (absolutely no rest).

Even the fastest and the best machines are no match to a human brain. When it comes to the ultimate point its the human brain which can think and work ways then why are men being replaced by machines?
Its the physical restrictions that a human being has which a machine would not happen. Moreover if a machine breaks you can replace the parts of the machine and put it back in service but the same is not true with humans ( this makes me wonder what if machines have feelings and emotions like humans? this would be a different post in the blog. )

If we look at the brighter side of this the managerial and scientific (research and development) sectors are the least effected by machines. These sectors can be provided with more and more machines to support their work but can never be replaced completely. This should be a motivation for people to study and improve their intellect. The more intellectual and educated a human is the more difficult it is for anyone to replace him/her.

In todays world motivation and effort are not enough to get good education and knowledge. Education today comes under the business segment rather than the service sector. Money is what is needed to get into a good school. There is so much untapped talent around the world that is going waste just because they cannot afford to go to school or due to financial barrier they are not able to achieve what they aim at. Although many people want to help and sponsor individuals that are in need it is physically and financially impossible to do that individually and thats where the groups and teams can play a good part.

Awareness and education is the only means by which a country can develop and a developed country is not one with most advanced technology or businesses or finances. A developed country is one where all the people would have a certain standard of living which will provide them all with work and enough pay to lead a comfortable life.

Human being is greedy, every time he has something he needs more. This greed if directed in the right channel can make a human to be a fighter and to achieve what they aim for. We have a number of examples of people who had nothing in their life but grew up to achieve everything they have ever dreamt of. With Education and Effort comes fame, name and wealth.

* coutesy: http://hypertextbook.com/facts/2003/RachelScottRosenbluth.shtml

Orkut!

2007-03-01T17:02:00.001-08:00

Google has become a trendsetter in the Technology field. Any product that google introduces is becoming popular almost immediately. Orkut has been out for a while but from my personal experiences, people are getting addicted to Orkut. Best part is that you get to meet your friends from your schooling. I have met friends from my school days which ranges back to as many as 14 years or more. Scrapping has become a trend, ppl no more chat on IM, they scrap each other and i have see accounts with scraps as many as 10k. Amazing how much time ppl spend in orkut, i myself have orkut open in one browser on which ever machine i am working. Keep going orkut, i hope to meet more of my friends whether it is through Orkut or some other means. Thanks Orkut.

Hello!

2007-03-01T16:03:00.000-08:00

Hi!

I am a techie but i just started blogging. I did start it once but never really got going with it. Todays not been a really interesting day and nothing exciting at work :-( So i decided this is a good time to start my blog and start scribbling. I live in Alameda and its a really pretty place to be living in. Some people will find it boring as it is a small island and is not one of the so called "happening" places. Its very quiet, not too much traffic...speed limits are too low (max seen is 30mph) It has a very beautiful beach and you can see the high rise buildings of San Francisco downtown on the otherside of the ocean. Its just 12 miles from the downtown SF.